Several weeks ago I found myself at my wits end questioning where Eric and I could have gone wrong with Mackenzie? As some of you might think sending an email on a whim to the Dr. Phil show might be drastic, I call it getting help or good solid information on a teenager. I had told Mackenzie that I was going to take drastic measures if this texting addiction to her on and off again boyfriend didn't stop. I feel that this texting is a superficial relationship and was more of a habit for the two of them than an appropriate face to face or phone call relationship. We were to the point where we couldn't even have a conversation with her without that darn iPhone being at her fingertips 24/7. Now I am sure some of you are thinking, "Why don't you just take her phone away"? Well...we have tried that many times and then he just starts texting me and asking me to give it back to her or I find myself needing to get a hold of her about the other kids, plans, messages, etc. After thinking and praying about this situation I did the following. The morning of her volleyball game against Fatima I had a conversation, a pleasant conversation and a very positive conversation in my eyes with her boyfriend. I informed him that if he wasn't crazy in love with her after two years and three breakups then he wasn't ever going to be. After school that day right before she was getting on her bus to go to Fatima he broke up with her for the 4th time. She left in tears and her heart was broken yet once again. She had known that we had talked that day and asked him over and over to please tell her what the conversation was about. She wasn't mad at me....she knows in her heart of hearts it wasn't the right kind of relationship and it wasn't healthy for her. She was upset and luckily this cutest little blond neighbor girl came over to spend the night with her and help ease her pain and solve the worlds problems once again. I thought for sure this would be the last time....but Eric had called me and let me know that suddenly two days later she was acting perfectly happy again. I was out of town that night and he saw on her phone a text message pop up with his name on it. OH GEEZ....here we go again....we both thought! YEP they were already back to texting like two mad people. Not back together but texting like freaks! Please don't get me wrong, we LOVE this kid! He is talented, smart, a christian, a country boy, a hard worker and possesses many of the qualities you would want in a boyfriend for your teenage daughter....BUT....yes there comes the word....BUT....Her Daddy and I have watched her sit here and wait for him night after night missing out on many events that she could have gone to with her friends, wasting precious time, and missing out on family events that she would have never considered missing out on before. It is nothing for him to show up around his regular time of 10:00 p.m. only to fall asleep and spend maybe 4 hours with her in a week if that! She is an adventurous girl, she loves life and she wants to live it to the fullest. When I see as a parent something or someone interfering with her emotions or her well being, I call it parenting to do something about it. She calls it overbearing!
After the show another representative of Dr. Phil came to us about resources. Dr. Phil thought that I could benefit from his Self Matters program and they had a couple options for Mackenzie and I to continue on when we got home. They recognized we lived in an area of little resources and when things calmed down in a week or two we were to give them a call back and they would set us up! Backstage the girls were all dressed in black and had Dr. Phil ID's on. The security was amazing and the lunch spread for her was...well...I'm speechless. Chocolate covered strawberries, huge cookies, drinks, beautiful sandwiches, muffins bigger than any I have ever seen! She ate lunch and the producers came to us and had extended our stay an extra night because we had not slept well at all. They hooked us up with some tickets and we were leaving CBS Paramount and going back to our Hotel. I had tweeted Tinley and Ali from the Bachelor because they were in LA that night. Of course I didn't think I would get a reply and the next morning Tinley had replied asking us where we were staying! I could have kicked myself for not checking back on Twitter! That would have been really fun! Had we known in time...Phantom of the Opera was playing and we could have gone but the timing of everything we wanted to do was not working out so we decided to site see a little, eat dinner and then go back up to our room and watch a movie on the most amazing pillows anyone could have ever laid there head on! We got some yummy dessert and a soda and coffee and headed up to our 7th floor room! The Hollywood sign was just outside our room on the hill and that was cool too! If we were told once...we must have been told a million times how sorry everyone was about the rainy weather that was going on. Kenzie just kept smiling and stating that it felt like home to her. She was used to it! Back at home we found out that Meredith True Blue had gone to Preschool and told the staff that we were at the Dr. Phil show! We laughed and laughed because they thought she was telling a story I am sure! But we confirmed it with a few people and bless Meredith's heart she didn't have to look like a 3 year old with an out of control imagination! LOL So Kenzie appropriately brought her back a pink shirt that said "DRAMA QUEEN" Hollywood on it! After starting our movie Kenzie was out cold in like 5 minutes and she was not waking up! She was exhausted...we must have walked miles and miles that day! So I let her sleep and went down to the lobby to study Anatomy! Yes Anatomy in the middle of Hollywood! I call that dedication dont you??
I have had people say to me, "Well at least she doesn't smoke pot or do drugs"! Well my reply to that thought is that while you might not think this is a big deal compared to what other teenagers are going through, Eric and I are not willing to lower the bar for her! Of course she is not on drugs. I am not saying that could never happen. That would be just setting myself up, but at this point in our lives I am not willing to allow her to settle at such a young age or to not try and get her to realize there is a big big world out there! She has everything going for her. She has a family who thinks she just about walks on water, she is an honors student, she got accepted to the University of Missouri next year, she is a Senior with only one last chance to make good memories with her friends and family and I am not going to take second seat or back row these last few months we have with her to a superficial texting relationship that is or could damage her other important relationships. She knows in her heart of hearts....she's no dummy..that's for sure! Just a growing teenager trying to find her place in this world.....
As I end this blog I in no means want anyone to think that I think Dr. Phil could replace the relationship my family has with Christ! We are all saved by his grace and mercy and continue to seek him first in all that we do. I am a sinner, by no means perfect on any occasion and just try to do the best I can. I realize that this is airing our business out in the public eye and well for some you, you could never think of doing this sort of thing. Again the way I see it is that if we can help another family or guide someone else or inspire another mother and daughter not to give up on their own relationship then we have done our jobs for the day. There will be opinions and that is okay with me! For Mackenzie's sake if it is a negative comment please keep it to yourself....if it something great then by all means post away! It takes a village to raise our kids and I am thankful for the village God has placed in my life!
